Just Breathe

There’s a new medical issue in my house: Sleep Apnea.

The quick and dirty on sleep apnea is that when you sleep, your muscles relax. Well, in some people the throat muscles relax so much that the airway becomes constricted and no air can pass through. Your body will (usually) rouse you from slumber long enough to allow you to breathe again and you go back to sleep until it happens again..and again..and again. Each time you stop breathing, your body releases a rush of adreneline. In effect, you’re running a bloody marathon every night.

While annoying, this has a much more serious effect on your body than most people think. Those who do not suffer from sleep apnea view the tiredness as laziness and view suffers as folks who should just “suck it up” or “get more sleep”. They have no concern over the fact that sleeping for sleep apnea sufferers, is a death warrant.

Keeping your body in such a state of sleep and oxygen deprivation causes a breakdown. Your body literally begins to shut itself down. No sleep leads to falling asleep at the wheel, at dinner, in meetings, just to name one side-effect. Irratibility and increased stress means no one wants to be around you as well as causing continued stress upon your body. Sleep apnea can lead to heart malfunction, stroke, diabetes, depression and weight gain among other things.

For the past few years my wife has been complaining of my snoring and even reported that I stop breathing. And, for the past few years, I thought she was over-exaggerating. Boy, was I wrong. At the beginning of the year I caught a cold. At least, I thought it was a cold. As the days passed and no relief was forthcoming, I decided it was a virus but went to the doctor to check. My throat felt like I had razor blades in it and my sinuses were completely blocked or leaking throughout the day. I’ve always had extremely large tonsils and had assumed they were the culprit both in my snoring and in my current sickness.

Three rounds of antibiotics and a month later, there was no change to my “cold”. I had no throat infection and began to have trouble falling asleep as just when I was about to succumb to sleep, I would “awake” gasping for air and feeling as though I was going to suffocate. Enough was enough and my doctor referred me to an Ear Nose and Throat (ENT) doctor. He was concerned about my wife’s report of my sleeping habits (or, rather, the stopping breathing habit) and agreed my tonsils may be giving me sleep apnea. He handed me the bad news that surgery could help, but probably would not cure sleep apnea if I had it. He ordered a sleep study to be conducted as soon as possible.

I made my appointment (for 2 weeks from then) and was told to not take ANY sedatives as this could lead to an inability to rouse myself should I stop breathing while asleep. Yes, it meant I could die in my sleep. To say I freaked out would be an understatement. Now when I tried to sleep, my anxiety would kick in. It was the most horrible two weeks I’ve had in a long time. Thankfully, my freak “cold” finally cleared and I at least could breathe through my nose normally and eat again.

It cost me $200 out of pocket (my insurance company’s lovely “co-pay”) for the over-night sleep study. I arrived by 8:30 PM and was shown to my room – it was like a cheesy motel room and I was not comfortable. Then the techs came in and hooked me up to the myriad of wires. They glued them to my scalp (which I had shaved because I didn’t feel like washing glue out of my hair), my face, my shoulder/upper chest area, and legs. They fitted a hose around my face that fed into my nostrils – similar to an oxygen line but instead of pushing air in, it recorded air I pushed out. At 11:30 PM I was allowed to attempt to sleep. It was a miserable night spent calling out to be unhooked so I could go pee, sweating, tossing, turning, and trying to sleep so this wouldn’t be a bust. They need at least 5 hours of you asleep to record – they use video and audio in the room to record everything you do so the doctor can “evaluate” it.

I left the following morning by 7 AM and went to work as normal. The study was done over night from Thursday to Friday. The following Tuesday I received a phone call from the doctor’s office telling me I needed to be placed on a PAP (Positive Air Pressure) machine immediately before I dropped dead. She told me she’d been doing this for 18 years and that my readings were the worst she had seen in that time. They say that having 30 or more episodes (stopping breathing) an hour is considered “severe” sleep apnea. I experienced 146 episodes an hour. Yes, you read that right.

They were basically shocked I was still alive as I should have stroked out at that rate. Again, cue anxiety. two days later I was picking up my new “auto-PAP” machine. This thing blows air at a varied rate based on the readings it gets from you as you sleep. It can go from 5 (a gentle breeze in my opinion) to 15 (imagine Mach 5). I also got the lovely FULL FACE MASK. Any confidence I had about my appearance went out the window but there it was. The mask or my life. Yeah, I’ll be Darth Vader, thanks.

It’s been a week with the machine and I think I’m doing okay. I’m required to use it at least 5 hours a night or my insurance won’t pay for the permanent PAP machine that I’m to receive after the initial 30 day trial with the auto-PAP. So, mid-next month I’ll return the auto-PAP and they’ll download my results to send to my NEW doctor – a Pulmonary specialist. I saw this new doc yesterday. He’s a nice enough guy but doesn’t listen. He decided that since I told him I used to have asthma when I had broncitus (which was between 7th and 12th grade a few times) it meant that I should really quit smoking – even though I told him I was in the process of quitting. He said, quote, “You really need to quit with your extensive history of asthma and suffering from chronic broncitus..”

Uh, come again? I hate doctors. Hate them. Well, not my primary, she’s the best. But every other fucker I see decides that I need to be beaten over the head with the dangers of being fat and smoking. The only reason he didn’t attack my fat is because it’s been PROVEN that sleep apnea makes it almost IMPOSSIBLE to lose weight. Your body is in constant freak-out mode and can’t process properly. So, my past attempts at losing weight were a bust. He also let me know that when my doc who prescribes my T told me years ago that I had elevated red blood cell count, it’s an indicator of sleep apnea. I wish I could punch my doc in the face.

But, that’s very negative of me and I’m trying not to be. My pulmonary doc also seems to want me to have surgery but I don’t want surgery. Removing an adult’s tonsils and adnoids is dangerous and hurts horribly. Not to mention there’s no proof it would help. Given my general over-all ill health, I won’t be taking the risk of going under the knife any time soon, thankyouverymuch.

Instead, I’m going to spend some time paying attention to something I haven’t in a very long time – myself.

I run around all the time doing things for everyone else and now I’m paying the price for that. At least, I do see it that way a bit. So I’m going to try and rectify that. My wife now makes dinner every night and we’re slowly replacing some of the non-healthy food with healthier alternatives. My roommate and I are planning out an activity schedule (I refuse to call it “excercise”) and I’m considering buying a cheap bike to go biking with a friend of mine.

I’m going to lose the weight I need to, and quit smoking, and eat better foods. But I’m going to do it MY way. All doctors are not crap, but they’re also not gods. They can give you stats, and case studies, and tell you what is true “most of the time”. But it’s my body. And it’s MY choice.

If you think you may suffer from sleep apnea or even that you snore really badly, please go to your doctor and get a sleep study done. Mine told me that if I had not caught it now, and had waited another few years, I probably would have died. I’m 30 years old.